Snippets of an affair ~ Everything changes

[zahraowens]

Title: Snippets of an affair (15/?) ~ Everything changes Author: zahra_owens Beta: An absolute angel who'll remain anonymous... Rating: R Word Count: 511 Warnings: Beware of boy-loving, guy on guy, and what's more, they're cheating on their boyfriends. Also hinting at physical violence and non-con Disclaimer: Persons and events described here may, on the surface, seem familiar, but I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Author's note: The POV may change throughout the story, so the 'I' from this chapter may not be the 'I' from the previous chapter.

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It's strange to see you here with my ex, falling over each other to hand me a glass of water and a paper towel when I tell you I'm thirsty.

You don't look at me. I haven't seen myself in the mirror, so maybe there's a reason for your avoidance.

The hospital bed is uncomfortable. Two nurses with sympathetic looks helped me find a comfortable position before they let you in, but that was half an hour ago and it's starting to hurt again.

I want to tell him to leave and you to stay, so I can tell you what the doctor told me, that everything will be okay and I will heal with a few more scars but no permanent damage. That they managed to put me back together. I want to hold you and pull you closer and wipe that deep groove off your forehead, tell you to stop worrying, to stop feeling guilty. Damn, why can't I just tell you the things that matter? Because he's still here? He's the one who found us, in his home, the door smashed in, blood everywhere apparently. I can't send him away yet. He saved us, when you were in shock and could barely talk, he had the presence of mind to call an ambulance.

His cell phone rings and he apologises that he left it on. "I'll take this outside," he says and leaves.

You're sitting next to my bedside, still shaking like a leaf and I hold out my hand to touch you.

"What do you need?" you ask almost inaudibly soft.

"You," I say. "Your hand."

You put your hand in mine and I pull it closer so I can kiss it. As I rub it along my cheek, I feel you slowly relax. My biggest fear right now is that I'll lose you over this, that you'll have seen something so incredibly disgusting that you'll never be able to look at me again with love in your eyes, that you'll never be able to shake that image.

I know you saw it all. That's what I see every time I close my eyes. You, completely paralysed, watching what's happening and not being able to do anything. And I see the tears streaming down your face.

Your face is still puffy, your eyes red and swollen, but you're not crying any more. At least you're here.

My ex barges in again, breaking our little intimate moment and I try not to let go of your hand, but you pull it away.

"They need us back at the police station. They arrested him and need us to I.D. him," he says to you.

You nod and briefly look at me. How I wish I could hold that gaze a little longer!

You leave together with him and I'm alone with my thoughts again.

I try to sleep, but even there the memories of what happened haunt me. I call a nurse and she gives me more pain medication.

Blissful, dreamless sleep engulfs me and takes away the images.

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